Why I Write

First, I must show you my favorite examples of what’s driving me crazy:

For the other amazingly ridiculous examples click here

I love Buzzfeed for posting these pictures and quotes. It’s fantastic.  And personally speaking, I hate critics because vindictive attitudes, and their arrogance. Sometimes I want to play “drink every time they insert a word to sound smarter/scholarly,” but my liver can’t handle that much booze. Last I checked, reviews were supposed to be written to the average reader, not a 19th century poet.

Not long ago I watched a documentary on Netflix called “Heckler” (I highly recommend it for stand-up fans). In the film, the director, and actors addressed how much they dislike critics in today’s world. Let me just point out that some of these guys were Rob Zombie, Kevin Smith, Lewis Black, and John Lovitz.

Needless to say these are not guys who bend over crying about a someone being mean to them.

Anyway, they pointed out how critics don’t do their job; they aggressive judge the actors and directors personally, instead of critiquing a film. It’s argued that before, critics had a sense of humility, and now it’s all about ego and who can have the most hits, reads, likes, dislikes, etc etc. I mean if you break it down, critics are basically telling people what to do for entertainment. And it seems as though they’re also telling the world that what someone who spent months, if not years, working on is complete shit.

And to be fair, the directors/actors had a right to have issues with this in the name of business. There are some people out there who read critic-reviews before seeing something. The Onion, Rotten Tomatoes, and newspapers all have critics telling the readers not to see their movie. And the online sources are worse because of anonymity. Online, people can disguise themselves and say “oh man, Kevin Smith.. so fuckin’ fat no wonder his movies suck so hard.” and then give it a stinky tomato (or whatever it is), all because of personal beef with said actor/director, fewer people will see it because — let’s be honest — we don’t decide things, like movies, by seeing them for ourselves… often because it’s expensive to go to. Therefore countless people rely on these websites. I have dozens of friends who refuse to see perfectly decent films because Rotten Tomatoes gives it less than 50%.

And I thought to myself damn, these directors/actors are totally right. So I thought what better way to help people decide whether or not to see/rent/pirate a movie than to offer YOU the choice of whether you want to watch it, by comparing it with similarities of films you may enjoy.

Here’s hoping that’s exactly what happens. If not, I’ll be at the bar.

 

Side Note: I’m not going to write about series movies (Star Wars, LOTR, Twilight, Harry Potter, etc) simply because each movie has relatively the same plot and characters, plus most people have strong opinions related to series movies already.